Yesterday was Mother’s Day in Sweden and France and perhaps somewhere else in the world as well. We celebrated the Belgian Mother’s day a few weeks ago but as my mom is in Sweden, we celebrated her yesterday. From my side it was only over Skype with the little one. It’s hard not being around your parents, especially when you have kids and on special occasions as this one. I want to show my mom how much I love her and how much she means to me. This made me think deeper into the question “What is motherhood?”
When I was pregnant with my son I never expected to become the mom I am today. I never would have imagine the feelings I would get by just looking at my child. It’s not an easy job being a mom or a parent. We constantly worry for our little ones. Doing everything in our power to fulfill their needs and dreams. We play with them, kiss and cuddle with them, laugh with them are some of the happy moments. BUT it’s not everyday bright and shiny. It’s a lot of work, it’s tiring, it’s frustrating. Have you ever had that feeling that nothing you do is enough? He or she still wants more?! My son is pretty much testing us with everything he has. It’s a difficult age when he says NO to absolutely everything – eating, getting dressed ,picking up the toys, go to bed. Knowing exactly what he want (or not at all) screaming and crying for a nothing. This is called the 2 years crises. This is the stage when a child know that he is unique, his own person, want to be able to manage by himself but frustrated that he cannot do everything yet. That’s why we are here to guide them through this period and helping them on the way, teaching them to live among others, share and listening. I believe it’s a constant struggle for parents as our kids will have different crises throughout the years and all we can do is be there for them and help them when help is needed.
Above I mentioned motherhood but believe I should call it parenthood, even though I notice that there is a different from fatherhood and motherhood but we still need to be on the same side when the difficult times arrives. I don’t know about you, but I feel that Elvin is acting out more with me than with his father. He knows that I am the soft one and more easy to give up the “fight” than his dad. Parenthood needs to be strong from both sides, the children needs to understand that if one says no, the other one will say the same. It’s not an easy task as we all have different views and experienced different childhoods. To find the common ground is hard work but the most important is for the parents talk about it, share their feelings with each other so that the education will reach the same goal for both parties.
In our society it’s easy criticizing other parents without knowing any facts behind. We do not all have the same vision of education and we just need to respect our neighbors as I am sure they are doing the best they can. Share your experience if you feel like it but never tell someone they are doing it wrong and if the person is open-minded, he or she will come back for more advise.
In the end of the day, my son is my life, I love him unconditionally and even though he makes my day exhausting, I will never let go and my anger and frustration disappears when I see him smiling at me or sleeping peacefully in his bed.
Today I understand my parents better. Why they reacted as they did, everything they have done and still do for me and my sister, their fear … it’s called parenthood.